What Men (Really) Need to Feel Loved

photo credit (2012)

I do not claim to be an expert in all things men, or all things love. But a few articles caught my attention, where women claim to have 55 or 101 ways how to show your man your love (exhibit A). Obviously, those women either watched too many chic flicks or have never been in a relationship. The men that I know have very few demands (oh they have their quirks) but when we are talking about needs and wants it comes down to very few things.

RESPECT - Every man on the face of the Earth wants to feel respected, especially by his own family. He longs to earn and keep that high regard from his people. Nothing crushes a man more than a lack of respect. You will not substitute foggy bathroom mirror lipstick messages for respect. As a matter of fact, men need respect to thrive and succeed more than air itself. They want to be heard, they want to feel accepted and understood, no matter what faults they might have. As part of respect, goes regard for the time they put into their family, the financial support they provide and special admiration in public (this one is a biggie). Every man wants to be the rock of Gibraltar for his woman and the issue of respect or lack there of, can make or break a relationship. He doesn't really want a candle light dinner as much as he wants to know that he is the king of his palace, that his word counts and his authority is respected. 

SEX - I don't think I have to explain this point too much. More than anything men want to be desired because physical love is the main way they show love. They really (I mean really) have to work on the other romantic stuff. For men, the physical aspect of love comes naturally and and that's how God made them. Women crave intimacy and men long to be physical so together it comes as a beautiful design. Of course, how much and how often is every men's preference but one thing is for sure, sex is a high priority in every men's life. Don't get it mixed up with romantic
movie scenes from chick flicks - that's what generally attracts women. Men, on the other hand will feel as wanted and desired on a stack of hay in a barn as they do on king size bed showered with rose petals. Make the physical part of your relationship a priority because it's important to him and when you say 'yes' it opens up a door for marital bliss.

FOOD - all human beings must eat to survive. Men feel cared for and loved when they have been fed (good food). There are a lot of old sayings that connect a mans happiness and general good attitude with food. (Ex: the way to a man's heart is through his stomach) Let's face it, everyone becomes more relaxed and willing to listen and act with more love when they are fed. And I personally have learned to not dump all my problems and stories of the day the minute my husband walks into the door. I have to bite my tongue and wait until after dinner to have a decent conversation. It makes a huge difference. Feed the man and then you can ask him anything (generally speaking). At least he will be more willing to fix that shelf that's about to fall down on one of the children. 

Of course, life is a lot more complicated and your specific situation is different from everybody else's. But generally speaking, these are three (not 101) ways you can be sure to make your man feel loved and cared for. The specific examples for every men out there are different but it's your job (not the internet's) to find out what makes your man happy and learn not to push his buttons. 

I hope you have a great Valentine's Day! 

Thank you for reading.

xo, Anna