Parenting Toddlers

When it comes to parenting, different stages of child's life require much wisdom. Babies are sweet and sleepy; they want to hang out on your shoulder and as long as they are fed and changed, it's all good. Now, toddlers are a totally different story. They are fully functioning members of a family, as they try prove themselves at every possible opportunity. They are very independent at this age and yet need us the most. So here's how parenting a toddler has changed my life. 

DO...

1. GIVE FREEDOM (as much as it is safe). They have very little control over their world - from what they eat to where they sleep, we decide everything for them. So whenever possible and you can give them the freedom they so desire, do so. Let them experiment with different foods and textures, run freely in controlled environment and don't be too harsh when they make a mess. 

2. TEACH. At this point in their life, they soak up every single bit of information that comes their way. Toddlers are very observant, that's why they imitate adults so much. Give them place and time to learn instead of restricting everything all the time. Whenever you have time, sit down, play, read and have fun with them. It may seem like not much to you but they are learning even when you are just goofing off. They are learning valuable social skills of human interaction and trust.

3. BE FAIR. Keep everyone in your household, including yourself to the same standards. If you think they shouldn't have candy but you are \eating M&Ms by the bag full, they will catch on very soon. They may not understand it and you may be able to get away with it now, but sooner or later they will resent your partiality. 

4. REDIRECT. When so little of your life is in your control, and you can't do this or that, frustration comes on easily. Toddlers are frustrated a lot at the world around them because they either can't do something, won't do something or simply don't want to do something. Redirect their attention away from the frustration and engage them in something else.

5. BE CALM. Whenever toddlers are upset, frustrated or cranky, it's best to stay calm. It won't do any good to you or them to get all frizzled and start yelling. Escalating situation by yelling and making arguments will just make it worse because they will resist it. Just accept the fact that they will be upset in some near future and will refuse to do whatever it is you want them to do. So keep calm - you have a toddler on hands.

DON'T...

1. REASON. At this point in game, they don't understand reasoning. You can explain all you want why they need to go to sleep and why mommy loves them, but they don't understand it. When making rules, be firm but soft spoken. Assure them by hug or kiss but still keep on doing what you must. 

2. BRIBE. I know it seems that everyone is doing it but it's simply very ineffective way to train. It teaches the child that he needs to do something only if there is a reward for such behavior. They need to learn that obeying and listening is part of their life. It's simply what they need to learn without alternatives and bribes.

3. IGNORE. Sometimes you just want to close your eyes and not see what's happening. But your toddler is watching you every moment of the day. Sure there are times when it's better to just walk away and not engage, but ignoring mean and defiant behavior will not do him/her any good. It needs to be addressed, punished and corrected.

4. GIVE UP. When it seems like you've tried every option and they still refuse to follow directions or eat that veggie, just step away. Don't keep at it if there are no results but don't get so frustrated you just want to give up. Sometimes, you just need to regroup, find another approach and start all over again. Repetition and consistency is your best friend when it comes to toddlers.