Contemplations On Impending Motherhood

I honestly have to say that I am scared of the future role as a mother. It is an enormous, gigantic and such an amazing responsibility for someone else's life. So in a way, I have been fighting it. 

I wanted to hold on to the old me where what I did only impacted myself and not this other 

tiny person inside of me.

I honestly am terrified of the thought of this great change and great responsibility, the birth process, the first bad word out of his mouth, the first tantrum and the thought of me forgetting my baby somewhere in the store. (It's the pregnancy hormones giving me weird dreams)

Also I have been mad at my body for doing what it's supposed to - growing my healthy boy inside me and I feel terrible for it. 

I just don't want my little guy to feel unloved. 

I think it took me a while to recognize the change that's happening and the fact that I didn't want to 

accept it - in everything from my body to our home dynamic. 

But there will be three of us and it's a wonderful thing.

I have to say, I am grateful that God entrusted me with this awesome responsibility and that I was worthy 

of His great blessing.

 I am happy to carry this little life. Every time I think of this little man inside me, my eyes tear up and I get a huge something stuck in my throat. I can't breath from the thought of it.

This is only going to happen once. I will be pregnant with our first child only once and it will be forever different, because life is amazing. No matter what God holds for us down the road.

P.S. Check out the Fall Remix Challenge  from lovely Jessica @ What I Wore. This is going to be funnnn!