June 20, 2013

How Far Are You Willing To Go To Please Your Man

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about any shades or any gray nonsense here but what you are willing to do within reason to be attractive to your man. 
I may sound old-fashioned and anti-feminist but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. 
Who do women dress for? Do we dress to stay attractive to our men or do we buy designer labels and try to fit into size 2 dresses just to show off to other women
Hubby tends to think it's the later and lately I've been inclined to think that too.

Let me back up a bit.

Ever since I got pregnant, my body started changing and taking some unwanted forms (hello stretch marks?). Unwanted is a very understated word. Those changes were hated with passion.
 Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful to bring a life into this world. Only it wasn't so wonderful to see my body take a hit and show clear signs of aging. I've complained and lamented over my baby weight to my hubby a few times too many. 
He kept saying that I'm even more beautiful to him, that he loved my body as it was and on and on. Sounds like a sweet guy eh? Well, did I believe him? Of course, not. 

I wanted to fit into size 2. I wanted to show other gals at church that I've lost all my baby weight. I wanted to wear a-line skirts for goodness sake. I wanted to wear all the latest blogger fashion hits (leather pants anyone?). I wanted to wear my hair in a top-knot, without it accentuating my filled in cheeks. 
But it wasn't happening soon enough.

After an honest conversation with hubby,  reading this post and couple girlfriends on this topic, couple things became very clear.
Men don't care about latest fashion.
Men don't care about size.  

When a wife is dressed nice, a husband isn't going to ask her where she got that hot dress that accentuates her size 8 curves from. He will pay her a compliment. He will tell her she looks sexy. 
The end of story. 
Well, maybe the story continues but behind closed doors ;-)

Women on the other hand? A whole different story.
Women care about the labels.
Women care about the latest trend
Women care about the price tag
And most of all, women care about what other women will say/think about them.
Don't deny it. You know it's true.

We, the female species, know that men are very easy to please. As long as men are fed and their women look good (whatever that entails for your man),  have some sexy time (ya know what I mean?) they are set for life. Yep that's all.

So if you know that your man doesn't care about J.Crew, loves to see you in heels, can't stand the top-knot and has an aversion to giant jewelry (i.e. statement necklace), would you give it all up?
 Or would you still wear/not wear it?

There is a fine line between being a total pleaser and loosing your own identity and someone who loves dressing for your husband because, well, he is the one who matters the most. Doesn't he?

It's about giving and receiving. If you want your man to give you what you want, fulfill your emotional needs and love you the way you need to be loved, it's probably a good idea to listen to his advice on your looks.
It matters to him. A lot. 
I can see how this would bother a lot of women. 'He should love me the way I am' and 'Forget it, I'm not giving up my__________' is the attitude that comes naturally.
This is what is meant by marriage being hard work, a lot of compromise and sometimes sacrifice and submission (oh no! not that word)
. Bending your own will to please someone you love isn't a sign of weakness, or giving in to male's chauvinistic domination but a sign of maturity and true love.
Isn't it what we, ladies, really want? 
I'm just sayin.

1 comment :

  1. Thank you for this post. This is how I feel in my relationship, and often my friends disagree. I hear that I'm no longer my own person, and how I'm conforming for someone who should love me no matter what. And I completely disagree. While I do agree that love is love, and of course they love you for you, but I've always been a firm believer in how you got them is how you keep them. Men are visual creatures, and its my pleasure to make him happy. Which in turn makes US happy.


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