January 10, 2014

Thoughts On Feeling Like a Failure

I have been thinking a lot about what have I accomplished. Not just in the last year but in my entire life. Looking at other women my age and those even younger, at those with, what seems like, better marriages and celebrity-worthy closets I got jealous. I started feeling pity for myself because I don't have a thousand people following after two years of blogging, every item in my closet does not have a J.Crew label on it, my husband is not a freelance photographer who takes pictures of me for living and my baby's outfits are not Instargam-worthy.

I'm just a married girl with baby in tow who has a blog. I write half legible sentences of incoherent thoughts and post pictures of simple outfits. That's it. I'm not sensational or original. In most cases I look to Pinterest and other blogs for inspiration. I carefully plan out all of my blog outfits and take a million pictures of baby for that one cute grin.

And so I've been feeling sorry for myself just a little bit for a couple of reasons. I don't have a career and I'm not rising to the top of corporate ladder. I haven't made a huge following for my blog and I don't have very inspirational thoughts. I don't have a 'wow factor' with every outfit and I cannot afford Valentino rockstuds. (Google it if you must). Feeling like I don't have anything to show for my life, like I haven't accomplished much has taken over me.

It's easy to feel inferior and like a looser by looking at other people's blogs, families, business, children or what have you, through the prism of social media. Most of the time we do not see the whole picture. We get caught up in the covetous state of mind because let's face it, our culture pushes for it. I see a lot of 'currently coveting' posts and none 'look I'm happy with what I've got' posts because we are always looking for more. That makes us compare our lives with others' and when it doesn't line up with a tiny snapshot of reality, we feet like we failed.

That is absolutely not true.

Behind heavily edited pictures, polished looks, staged family photos and perfect lighting there are people. People who have faults, who fail and who don't have it all together because I surely don't. And that's OK. It's OK to be ordinary and just myself. It's OK to be living an ordinary life, raising babies, loving my husband and growing old. It's OK to be grateful for what I have and do the best I can with the life that God gave me.

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise
 (2 Corinthians 10:12)


  1. I think you are wonderful for being so honest! Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.
    I think you have amazing style. Style isn't about the brands its about pairing and creating new looks with what you have. Plus, your little man is beyond adorable!!
    Keep you chin up!

    1. Jennifer, thank you! It's hard to express how we feel sometimes and still sound like a decent human being right? And you are right! Style isn't about brands

  2. Thank you for being so honest! I feel the same way sometimes! The blogger world is so wonderful, but I think we tend to show the best of ourselves and sometimes it's good to be more honest with our readers about who we really are.

    Thank you :)

    1. I love blogging too... It's refreshing to see other people going through exactly the same things as we are...
      Thank you Tawnya!

  3. I COMPLETELY get what you're saying! I just drafted a post last week about the so-called "perfect life" of everyone we see in social media. I can't afford J.Crew or Valentino!
    I just discovered your blog not long ago - I love your style and creativity! I love that you're REAL! Thank you for sharing the scripture.
    And I don't think you're ordinary. I wish I could stay home with my baby.
    I had a thought tonight I'm going to share with you: One day when I'm long gone I want my FAMILY to remember me for me. Not for my job, blog, pictures or anything. Just for being who God made me to be.
    I bet you feel the same way =)


    P.S. - the corporate ladder is overrated. Usually other areas of life are neglected to achieve corporate success.

    1. Thank you Amber! I know, I'm blessed to be able to stay home with my baby boy... I love every minute of it!

  4. Your honesty is so refreshing and your blog is amazing. It's such a blessing to be a mommy. Keep up what you are doing.

    1. Thank you Felicia! Being a mommy is the biggest blessing of my life

  5. Oh darling your post made me think and feel good. I too struggle with everything and I am not married nor do I have a child so from where I am you have it all together. You made me feel like it was ok to be where I am - Keep up the good work Lovie! Thanks for being SO REAL!


  6. I agree, it definitely is a "prism" of social media - everything comes out looking like rainbow! Hang in their lady, it's about the journey, not the picture perfect moments, but the overall story that you are writing.
    Enter my current giveaway!


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment - I appreciate your support!