July 12, 2017

What It Takes To Keep Marriage Going Strong {Love and Marriage}


Back in the year 2006 CE brand new 18 yr old was beyond happy to get her own phone. She bragged about it at her youth group. She was giving it to one of her girlfriends when a boy sitting right next to them memorized it on the spot. That night he texted her and kept her guessing for a while who he is. She had no clue that this handsome, older guy liked her. They talked for a while on the phone and texted ridiculously sweet and mushy messages. Then they went out on a date. He says it wasn't a date but he did pay so, it's official - it was a date. She liked him. He liked her. And it began. Love story of a lifetime.
Our story.
We dated for 9 months before he proposed and another 5 months of engagement. Then on a gorgeous summer afternoon nine years ago we got married. It was the best decision we ever made.
Fast forward a bachelor degree, blog, house and two kids later we are nine years and running.
Newlyweds have asked us, what keeps it going? What does it take to have a solid marriage? One word. Commitment.
I mean it. It's not the lovely fuzzy feeling, it's not the physical attraction, it's not the financial stability, it's not even religion. It's you.
How much do you want it?
In the last nine years we've had some awesome highs and very low lows. The lows, of course, no one talks about. But don't fool yourself. Behind every pretty Instagram photo and family Christmas card is a story of forgiving, loving and committing.
The commitment to our family, to my husband, to our kids and to our life no matter what. No matter if I'm feeling 'in love' or simply living next to each other. The commitment to never give up on each other.. The commitment to lead and to follow. The commitment to put in the work when it requires and to let go when you must. The commitment to grow together and to love each other. The commitment to honor the vows and never look another way with desire for someone else. The commitment to love the Lord our God and obey Him. The commitment to bring out the best in each other and support each other. The commitment when you don't feel like doing it, but you do it anyways. 
The commitment to us. 
Of course, it sounds simple but that's exactly what it is.
Anything we want in life takes work, perseverance and commitment. It's no different with marriage. In fact the success of a marriage depends on our ability to do the mundane tasks over and over again without ever thinking to give up.
Marriage takes choosing to love that person no matter what. It's a choice. Every single day.
Some day I must choose to look beyond the ugly and choose that person again. And again. And again.
It's not easy. I will probably want to give up. You will want to give up too. Someone else's marriage will look like it's doing amazing,  and my isn't. But it's not about them. It's not even about my spouse. It's about me.
What will I do?
What I do regardless of what he does. My response to who he is my own and cannot be excused by who he is. Only because someone is mean, I do not have the permission or the right to do the same.
We teach our children to be nice and kind to strangers, not to answer back with impolite word but somehow we forget to apply it to our own marriage. 
So, if I'm responsible only for myself and not how the other person acts, I must train and learn to behave myself. I must learn to walk with the Lord and love Him with all my heart before I attempt to change or point out faults in another person. I must learn to be the person God wants me to be and walk that walk every single day. 
I choose you darling, every day. I choose our life and our love. I choose to commit and never let go.
Happy anniversary dear.
I love you.

2 comments :

  1. Thank you so much for your witness. I identify with that. The commitment I have to my husband and him with me, before the Lord, and the grace that has been given to us in marriage, sustains us and makes us want to walk together to heaven.

    We started dating in 2002 and got married in 2008. Today we have four beautiful children that God gave us. And our love remains strong and strong because of the vows we have made to each other, and by the sovereign grace of Christ that sustains us. Marriage is my vocation, the means by which God wants me to be saved, and a true ministry. My fashion blog, my care for children, all of this revolves around Christ and the purpose He has for my life, which is necessarily through marriage. That is why we have written articles and books on marriage together, and given lectures on the subject in churches and prayer groups.

    May God sustain us!

    Congratulations on your faithfulness. I would like to be closer to you, at least in this virtual reality, in our blogs, Instagram accounts ...

    Stay with God, my dear!

    Aline Brodbeck
    www.blogfemina.com | My Instagram profile

    ReplyDelete
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