What It Takes To Keep Marriage Going Strong {Love and Marriage}

Back in the year 2006 CE brand new 18 yr old was beyond happy to get her own phone. She bragged about it at her youth group. She was giving it to one of her girlfriends when a boy sitting right next to them memorized it on the spot. That night he texted her and kept her guessing for a while who he is. She had no clue that this handsome, older guy liked her. They talked for a while on the phone and texted ridiculously sweet and mushy messages. Then they went out on a date. He says it wasn't a date but he did pay so, it's official - it was a date. She liked him. He liked her. And it began. Love story of a lifetime.

Our story.

We dated for 9 months before he proposed and another 5 months of engagement. Then on a gorgeous summer afternoon nine years ago we got married. It was the best decision we ever made.

Fast forward a bachelor degree, blog, house and two kids later we are nine years and running.

Newlyweds have asked us, what keeps it going? What does it take to have a solid marriage? One word. Commitment.

I mean it. It's not the lovely fuzzy feeling, it's not the physical attraction, it's not the financial stability, it's not even religion. It's you.

How much do you want it?

In the last nine years we've had some awesome highs and very low lows. The lows, of course, no one talks about. But don't fool yourself. Behind every pretty Instagram photo and family Christmas card is a story of forgiving, loving and committing.

The commitment to our family, to my husband, to our kids and to our life no matter what. No matter if I'm feeling 'in love' or simply living next to each other. The commitment to never give up on each other.. The commitment to lead and to follow. The commitment to put in the work when it requires and to let go when you must. The commitment to grow together and to love each other. The commitment to honor the vows and never look another way with desire for someone else. The commitment to love the Lord our God and obey Him. The commitment to bring out the best in each other and support each other. The commitment when you don't feel like doing it, but you do it anyways. 

The commitment to us. 

Of course, it sounds simple but that's exactly what it is.

Anything we want in life takes work, perseverance and commitment. It's no different with marriage. In fact the success of a marriage depends on our ability to do the mundane tasks over and over again without ever thinking to give up.

Marriage takes choosing to love that person no matter what. It's a choice. Every single day.

Some day I must choose to look beyond the ugly and choose that person again. And again. And again.

It's not easy. I will probably want to give up. You will want to give up too. Someone else's marriage will look like it's doing amazing,  and my isn't. But it's not about them. It's not even about my spouse. It's about me.

What will I do?

What I do regardless of what he does. My response to who he is my own and cannot be excused by who he is. Only because someone is mean, I do not have the permission or the right to do the same.
We teach our children to be nice and kind to strangers, not to answer back with impolite word but somehow we forget to apply it to our own marriage. 

So, if I'm responsible only for myself and not how the other person acts, I must train and learn to behave myself. I must learn to walk with the Lord and love Him with all my heart before I attempt to change or point out faults in another person. I must learn to be the person God wants me to be and walk that walk every single day. 

I choose you darling, every day. I choose our life and our love. I choose to commit and never let go.

Happy anniversary dear.

I love you.

Keeping the Sparkle {Marriage}

To be honest, last few weeks have been really (really) exhausting, physically and emotionally. We both got sick in the middle of a home remodel. The quick remodel turned out to be a two-month-long project which is still not completely done. We were both short and grumpy most of the time, exhausted from the amount of work that needs to be done and regular household duties. My pregnancy hormones and constant backache didn't help the situation. Add to that a few disagreements and you have yourself completely miserable people. 

And so we were...

Slow Down This Christmas Season

Christmas can be the busiest time of the year. With all the shopping, party attending and other family activities there is no time to breath. I feel like sometimes I'm running from place to place, making pretty things but never actually stopping long enough to admire the beauty of the season. 

Thankfully, my son reminds me often. 

He grabs my hand, says "c'mon mom" and drags me to the couch where we sit and read every book that he has. Than I'm reminded how special this time of year is. Instead of running back to my boiling pot of pasta, I actually make an effort to put away the social media and just be in the moment.

So no matter what you are doing and how many activities you have scheduled from now until December 25th (and beyond), take time to enjoy the season.

Slow down. Sit on the couch and listen to Christmas music, put away the phone (and the laptop, and the tablet) and simply live. Grab a cup of hot coca, tell your children about the real reason for the season and pray together. There is nothing more special than time spent with family doing things that matter. 

Instead of buying more stuff and caring for what people will think of your Christmas decorations,  think of those who are hurting,  alone or have nothing this Christmas.  Share the love of God with those in need and spread Christmas cheer! 

Enjoy the Christmas season!

xo, Anna

Farewell to Fall {Family}

Last month, when it was exceptionally warm and the leaves were still just beginning to change color, we headed to the park for some family time. It was warm and sunny and a lot of fun for Jonathan. He gave me my first leaf (most moms receive flowers as a gift, I get leaves.) It was beautiful.

Most of the time, in the busyness of life, we rush through things. Even that day, husband was on a mission to get things done and we had limited time at the park. But what strikes me the most is that weeks later I don't even remember why we were rushing. I do, however remember, this beautiful sunny day and the time we spent together.

I'm preaching to myself here, people, because most of the time, I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off, instead of enjoying the moment. 

With the upcoming holiday season, take the time with your family to just slow the heck down. Don't get caught in the consumer driven mantra of the season and instead do meaningful, quality things with your family. They will appreciate it more than any kind of present in the world. 

Thank you for stopping by and have a great weekend!

Here is a list of sales going on this weekend in case you decide to do  some online shopping on Saturday morning! It's the best - never leave your home and score some deals.

Nordstrom -> up to 40% OFF ends 11/11

J.Crew Factory -> 30% OFF everything {use code EXTRA30}

Old Navy -> up to  50% OFF everything

GAP -> 40% OFF everything (ends 11/10) {use code FFSALE}

Banana Republic -> 30% OFF full prices {use code BREXCITED}

J,Crew -> 25% OFF fall favorites and extra 30%OFF SALE items {use code GETWARM}

Ann Taylor: Extra 60% OFF all SALE style,  $49.50 select full-price sweaters; 40% off full-price Ann cardigans

DSW: $10 off $74, $25 off $139 or $40 off $199 using code SHOPNOV

Kohl's: $10 off your purchase of $25 or more using code VETSDAY10 in store

LOFT: extra 60% OFF SALE styles in stores & online 

Lord and Taylor60% off all coats & 50% off all cold-weather accessories today & online 

5 Things That Make Our Marriage Great

Sometimes life over takes us. We get so busy with everyday things and responsibilities that we forget to take the time to look at our lives and just be thankful. My husband and I are far from perfect and we have our share of problems but I need to remind myself once in a while why I chose this man. Here are a few of the many things that make us so perfect for each other.

1. We put God first. In our lives, in our ministry, in our parenting, in our relationship with each other. I know that my husband can never make me happy 100% of the time. He is a human being and as such he will make mistakes. No matter how much I try, my marriage will never satisfy me spiritually so making Lord God my priority and source of joy, makes things a lot more stable.

2. We are committed. In our 6+ years of marriage, we have experienced some very high peeks of happiness and low points of disappointments, but we've gone through it all together. Knowing that no matter what happens, we are together definitely brings peace into my heart. It's one thing knowing it in my head, and totally another, going through it. Sharing life's greatest and worst moments together brings us closer to each other every day.

3.  We are best friends. If there is one thing that I love about us, is that we've always been best friends. I know that I can talk to my husband about anything, get honest advice and encouragement. We don't have secrets and we share our lives with each other. There isn't an area in our lives that we haven't covered at one point and if something is on my heart, I know that I can go talk to him. It's the best part of our relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way.

4. We have the same views on life. We share the same views on a lot of things in life - from parenting to taste in food, some of that comes from cultural similarities. Other parts are from living together and rubbing off on each other. In the end we really do understand each other very well and don't have to argue about religion or politics, or even which restaurant to go to because we agree on the same things. It makes life a lot easier knowing your partner understands you completely and although we do have disagreements, major things are covered.

5. We aim to please each other. *Cough* As a married couple we enjoy each other very much. The intimacy and closeness is important to both of us and we are certainly on the same page. I know a few couples who have very different views on intimacy and it definitely brings conflicts into the marriage. We strive for mutual satisfaction, in all areas of our lives but having a partner who 'gets you' makes intimacy that much more special.

Thank you so much for stopping by! 

10 Inexpensive Date Ideas

source

Every year as I get older, the longer I'm married to my man, the more I realize, that I know very little. I thought, every year you were supposed to get better at this thing called life, no?

I don't know much, but I do know that couples that intend to stay together in the 'happily ever after' need to work at the happy part to make sure the ever after actually happens. And when I'm saying 'stay to together' I don't mean to survive the torturous coexistence next to each other. No. What I mean is to have a friend and a lovable companion at the end of your life to enjoy the golden years. For that my friends, we need to invest in the relationship now.

Well, having a mortgage, car payment, bills, couple of kids and maybe even school loans does not allow for fancy restaurants, horse carriages and weekend getaways. But being romantic and affectionate does not require a lot of money - just a little imagination. And probably some food. 

Here are some affordable ideas for you to sweep the love your life of her/his feet (without braking the bank).

1. Instead of having a boring lunch at home, grab a picnic basket, pack the food and head to a local park. Find a gorgeous view, spread the blanket and have some lunch. Talk, read a book together or simply take a nap. 

2. Head out to the local library. Browse book stands, find something you are both interested in then retrieve to a secluded, quiet spot and read the book together. I bet you won't even remember what was that book about;-)

3. Want to go to a fancy shmancy restaurant? Sign up for deals at such website as Groupon, join the restaurant's e-mail list to stay informed of their promotions or go there for lunch. Expensive restaurants tend to be more affordable in A.M.

4.Dinner and a movie. Make simple dinner and look on hulu.com for free re-runs of your favorite shows. You can even have fun with finding the dumb, funny, cheesy, longest running or stupid shows.
Have fun with it!

5. Transform your bedroom into a getaway retreat by setting it up as a hotel room, complete with number on the door, mints on a freshly made bed (use crisp white cotton sheets), a huge stack of towels and a few fizzy bath tablets in the bathroom (for an instant Jacuzzi), nice stationery and a pen (for writing each other love notes), a bottle of something chilling in an ice bucket, and room service. (source) 

6. Have a game night. Pull out all of your board games for a friendly night of competition. Be sure to have some treats for the occasion, like homemade salsa and chocolate covered strawberries.

7. Go to a thrift store. Each person gets $10 to spend! See who ends up with the best item(s)!

8. Have a restaurant hop by ordering only appetizers at couple different restaurants you have never been to and don't want to risk paying for a full meal. That way you can try something new and not spend a lot of  money on a dinner you may not like anyway.

9. Go to a farmers market and explore what your local vendors have to offer. You can find a lot of free samples and cheap foods, interesting entertainment and fresh air.

10. Head to the bookstore when very few people are going to be there (like Monday), grab a cup of joe and walk through the aisles together, showing each other your favorite books, bonding over the books you both hated, and flipping through a Kama Sutra book for ideas for later ;-)

Hope these ideas will motivate you to have fun and schedule a date with your spouse. Have a great day!

My Lover Is Mine, And I Am His

'So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.'

/Quote/

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. 

/Quote/

Friday we celebrated our 5th weeding anniversary.
 I honestly can't believe it's been five years but it has been truly amazing! We weren't able to go away (kid troubles) but still took a full day off to relax and pamper ourselves. 
Fancy shmancy lunch to start the day (insta), then massage and spa relaxation, finishing off with delicious dinner. We did have plans to go see a movie but baby Jonathan didn't think so.
He refused to be put to sleep by grandma and was demanding his daddy (he usually puts him to sleep).
We came home early and instead of watching a screen and not looking at each other, we were able to spent some quality time together.
It was great to just get away for a day and focus on each other.
Happy Anniversary Love!

This Guy

Jonathan recognized his daddy right away. Awake and alert when hubby was talking to him.
Amazing! 

I just want to take a minute here and brag about this guy a little. The bigger of two. I suppose there are many mushy and overly lovely-dovey blog articles flying all over the net but here is another one.

Bear with me.

First of all, I love this guy. 

His ability to make me laugh. 

His willingness to be there for me. Every time.

His strong beliefs and unwavering convictions.

His few wise words.

His adorable, most sweetest baby talk to our son.

His willingness to sacrifice for our family.

His ability to notice the little things.

His ability to do those little things that matter the most.

His lion-like guard of our family. Of me. Of our boy.

His ability to say the sweetest, most meaningful things looking deep into my eyes, taking my breath away. 

But most of all, his natural ability as a father.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't keep it in. I had these great plans in mind of how I would tell him, but I was in such a shock that it was written all over my face. I had a storm of emotions and a hurricane of thoughts going through me but he was there to let me pour my emotions out.

Mind you, he's not the kind of guy that will be jumping up and down with excitement but he will rejoices in quiet of his heart. 

Then the very first ultrasound he was with me. And the second and third. I mean, this guy has been with me every step of the way. 

Then when it was time to make the tough decision - induction or no induction - he was so supportive. He didn't rush me or push me towards a decision. He was ever so patient and understanding of my battling mind and never ending "I don't know".

Once in the delivery room he was on the edge of his seat (I could tell) although he breathed tranquil spirit. He calmed me and constantly reminded of my breathing and relaxation techniques. 

Then came the moment.

Moment he became a father. 

Like with everything, he accepted our son with calm adoration and was present every single moment of the day ever since. 

As a right of passage first diaper was on daddy ;-)

Now that we settled into our new life and living with a baby in the house has become somewhat familiar, I realized how much he actually means to me. How I couldn't do it all without him. Without his sweet words of encouragement and reassurance. 

He truly is my rock.

Of course, he isn't perfect and there are days when he annoys me and drives me up the wall but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Our life isn't perfect. We have our ups and downs. 

We may not have it altogether but together we have it all.