We were running late. It should have known by now that something is about to go wrong. Something is about to go completely off the schedule. The shoes were on the wrong feet, the diaper bag was missing diapers and I could not, for the life of me, find my phone. I was telling my son to go do this and that, and for crying out loud, change his shoes. My daughter was taking everything out of the coat closet in hopes of finding her coat.
I was snapping at the kids and completely disregarding the fact that my son was trying to ask me something and daughter was happy to find her favorite little jacket. I was not paying attention. I was doing the thing I was meant to do, the role God created me for yet my heart wasn't fully in it. My mind was running ahead of me, my lists were getting a hold of me. I was desperately trying to fit into my own time line that I have created for myself. I was trying to do it all for the sake of doing it. Just to prove that I can.
I wasn't present. I wasn't at peace.
In the back of my mind, I was giving up important things (i.e. full time job, blogging and career) for these children. I had to do it for the time being. Yet I was waiting for the time when they are grown enough to put their shoes on themselves. Then I can go on to do those 'important' things and achieve new heights in personal accomplishments.
I didn't think I was achieving anything important that very moment.
Of course, I knew my kids are important but not to the extent of making motherhood my life's mission.
In the modern society, we teach girls to do everything except how to make a home, take care of a family and children. Somewhere along the decades of 20th century we have rationalized that family isn't worth it. Having a family, children and home to take care of isn't enough. And with thousands of years of history behind us, all of a sudden we thought we knew better.
We are women.
We can. We can do it all.
Of course we can, but at what cost? At the cost of a failing society desperately trying to redefine family and miserably failing at it all along.
Hear me out, I'm not promoting a full abandon of yourself as a human being. I'm not even talking about an outside of home job. That's secondary and totally up to what your family needs are at the moment.
I'm talking about motherhood being done with the whole heart. A motherhood where we are intentional about our time, we set boundaries of how much time we spend outside of home and how we prioritize. Raising our children with a whole heart of love and patience, where time is of essence and yet we are in no rush. Ceasing the moment yet, letting it all fall into place on it's own. Finding a tricky balance to life where we know our place, happy to be where we are yet strive to be better.
Wholehearted motherhood is fulfilling because it has an eternal focus. When we as mothers realize we are not just doing laundry, making dinners and picking up the living room day after day, but shaping the future of our children we become less focused on how and more on why.
Mothering with the whole heart means knowing who you are, knowing your children's place and how God designed it all to work. It does not mean we forget about everything in the world and just focus on our children making sure they become the most successful people by the world's standards. Absolutely not! It means, we strive to reach our identity in Christ before we find it in our children. When we grow and find fulfillment in the Lord, we are ready to give our best to our home. We are no longer questioning our place as women and strive to be everything we were never meant to be.
Having a personal relationships with Christ does answer a whole lot of questions in life and gets rid of a lot of insecurities. When our hearts are filled with God's loved and humbled by His grace, we are more likely to sacrifice and serve without constant need for attention. When we make priorities for our home and time with our children, we our sowing seeds that will grow now and reap for all eternity.
Day by day, learning to be the women of God with uplifting, nurturing, loving and caring attitude. Women that inspire, while showing by example of servitude and grace. Mothering with our whole hearts and giving our best is what God created us to be.