Let Them Be Little

So let them be little 'cause they're only that way for a while

Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day

Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little.

song

It's a funny thing this life. When you are waiting for something, time seems to drag its feet and really slow waaay down. On the other hand, when you enjoying every moment and trying to make it last as long as possible, time flies too fast.

 Honestly, I don't think anything has ever made me realize how fast life is, as much as this little guy. All of this: the 3am feedings that seem to last f.o.r.e.v.e.r., the endless dirty diapers, the crying for no apparent reason, the helplessness and cuteness will pass. Too fast. 

He is three weeks old today and I still cannot believe he is mine. But in the middle of it all - feeding, changing, burping, swaddling, changing again, crying and puking - he gives me a cute little toothless smile. Then when I just fed him and he's falling asleep in my arms, in that state of sweet slumber as his hand is on my chest and his cheeks are pressed against me, it's all so worth it. 

Life is short.

No rewind.

No replay. 

So enjoy every moment God has given you.

Awkward

You know that stage of your life when you are about thirteen years old and just starting to develop? You still act like a kid, and probably look like one but your body is going through this huge change. One day you wake up a normal kid and the next BAM! you are becoming a woman, all emotional and hormonal. 

Well, that's sort of what it feels like right now. 

My body is is still recovering and far (close to twenty pounds to the south far) from what I started with.
It needs time. 

I have the belly that's slowly shrinking and some additional bootay, and of course, the girls are doing their duty too. I mean, it's all disproportional and out of line. Add to that my hormones jumping off the cliff and you've got a mess. 

So one of two things can happen. I can either pout and cry over my incongruous body or I can embrace this stage and just do my best. I'm picking the latter.
My body has accomplished a gigantic task and brought a life into this world. I can be hard on myself sometimes but this awkward-turned-plump stage isn't permanent. Hopefully.
I don't want to focus on the negative but rather enjoy the sweet little boy that I have. He's a joy and a blessing, so take that belly fat.

Five Things

I've realized that if I post a picture a day of this precious face, I will have enough cuteness until the end of times. I mean, look at that angel!

So everyone is tagging everyone on Instargam with five random things about the individual. Whoever came up with it, hit the spot and it's like a plague going around Web now. Natalie brought it into blogosphere and I think it's here to stay. I've been tagged  too (well, sorta), so here is my five things.

//1// When I was around fiver or six years old, I wanted to be a judge when I grew up (at least that's what my mom tells me I told everyone). Then I saw the cost of tuition for law school.

//2// When I first met my future husband, I disliked him. I mean, we were butting heads for a while, as we hung out in the same youth group. Once on a sledding trip we were playing around and I accidentally knocked glasses off his face. We found the glasses. I did say sorry. To this day, hubby swears I did it on purpose.

//3// Besides my secondary education, I went to music school for seven years and art school for five starting 6 years old. I did not have a moment of free time until my last two years of high school.

//4// I'm a clean freak except I hate doing dishes. I will scrub my house from top to bottom and vacuum and wash everything, only I may leave dishes for hubby to finish (if at all possible).

//5// When I was twelve years old, I spent entire summer in  Norway's country side. Our parents were working on strawberry farm and my sister and I were having a blast. Talk about spoiled.

Therefore to keep the ball rolling, I tag Shelby, Kaylee, Danielle, Abbey and Jessica

February {Budgeting Series}

I can not believe that another month has come and gone.
 Baby Jonthan is 2 weeks old today and I'm finally starting to feel like a human being again. 

So when I said I'm going to do a monthly budget and try to stick with it, I did not, let me say it again, I DID NOT anticipate how hard it was going to be. So many times I would have be on the way somewhere and just wanted to 'stop by' Old Navy or Loft to see what they have on sale but had to resist. Did you know there is always a sale? Always.

Only now I realize how much shopping I was actually doing. It didn't seem like much every time because I never had major shopping sprees but thirty bucks here and a fifty bucks there would add up to be a substantial amount at the end of a month. Therefore February's $100 budget was a huge cut to my spending habit. But somehow (having a baby and being stuck at home for the last two weeks helped) I managed to not go over the limit too much.

Considering, all of these things were necessities (well except shoes. must.have.shoes) and there was no room left for the 'wants'. 

So do you budget? Or is it just too hard? Or maybe you are swimming in cash? I would love to hear from you and your experiences in the comments!  

Breastfeeding Tank (3) 19.99
These are a must for any nursing mom. I'm loving and currently living in them. 

Basic Tank(2) 12.99 each
I LOVE how soft these are. Even if you aren't preggo, go get yourself a couple. 
You will thank me later.

Pajama Top (2) $12.48
One thing you have to consider when buying PJs for nursing mom is an easy access to the merchandise. I bought a few sets of when I was still pregnant but that aspect somehow escaped my mind.

Striped Flat  $19.99
Shopping with hubby is an adventure when he finds the cutest pair of striped flats. Always looking out for me and then complaining that I have too many shoes. He is the best.

TOTAL: $130.90

                 -100.00

                                               over the budget---->$30.90

P.S. Can you tell I love shopping at Target? 

The Birth Story

This picture was taken right before we headed out to the hospital. 

I mean, how much bigger can you get when he kid is getting over-baked?

Not much more. 

I have been laying sleepless through couple nights thinking if I wanted to share this part of my life. I am a private person (with a personal life style blog, I know), and want to keep some of the very intimate and private details of this to myself  But I do want to share the incredible experience that brought my son into this world. (I still can't believe I'm saying the words 'my son')

As you may know I was overdue. I mean seven days isn't that long but it felt like an eternity to me. 

My last sonogram showed that he was 8lb and 13oz which isn't always accurate and usually +/- a pound. It's the plus side I was afraid off. There are many risks to waiting up to two weeks past due date but we know that babies don't go by our time. They just have a mind of their own. 

I was struggling between waiting him out couple more days and taking all those risks, or going for induction and taking more risks. Either way, it wasn't going to be an easy decision. 

Hubby was leaving the decision in my hands but after talking it through and praying, we decided to get the show on the road. 

On the way to the hospital my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my stomach.

So there was checking in and settling in, getting all the important info down and checked by the doctor. My cervix wasn't ripe enough, so that was the first step at 4pm. The medication was supposed to take about 12 hours to work and the next morning I would be ready for Pitocin ( I was not ready for it).

But my body decided otherwise. By 9pm my water broke and contractions were 2-3min apart by 11 pm. I was dilating very fast, so there was no time like the present to ask for epidural. 

Yes, I'm a big chicken. Hubby says I yelled pretty loud when contractions hit. The pain of the needle in your back is nothing compared to those awful contractions. 

So I got the epidural just in time because by 3am I was fully dilated and effaced, ready to push. 

That's when the trouble came.

Our baby didn't want to come out. He was fighting me with all his might, because his heart rate dropped half of what it was supposed to be only after three pushes. Doctor thought maybe it would jump up once I wasn't pushing but it was taking him long time to recover. 

          More of the same and she said that I will have to push for a while and he isn't tolerating the labor. 

But he had to come out. 

I cried. We cried. I begged to let me wait him out a little and maybe he will decide to show up. She did.

Forty five minutes later, the same story. 

So basically, there was no choice - push and risk him having brain damage or C-Section. 

I cried more, while they were rolling me into OR.

By 4:43 am he was born - healthy, happy and very alert. 

By 5-ish I was holding him in my arms and nursing my little man. Still in shock of what has happened, exhausted but happy.

More tears, more joy, more happiness.

Still happening to this day.