Advice

Thursday, September 5: Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered. 

I think the best lessons we learn are taught by life itself. No matter how much can someone explain or tell you something, unless you've gone through it yourself, it really doesn't stick. Ya know?

The best advice that I can ever give is the one I've learned myself, from personal experience. I've learned this the hard way - from hurt and tears.

Always remember to love others.

 "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" Matthew 22:39

There is enough hurt, pain and evil in this world that we, Christians, don't need to add to it. God called us to peace, love and joy and that should be our main goal. 

Loving others isn't easy. It takes patience, character and caring attitude; it's something we learn over time. 

Love brings out best in people and helps them really shine through. Love softens our hearts and makes us stronger while showing others that we truly do care. And isn't that the best thing in the world, knowing that someone cares?

There were always enough judges, teachers and disciplinarians to keep everyone in check but there isn't enough people willing to love others. 

Just love them for who they are and really care for them. 

Love is the only thing that everyone is looking for but very few get to experience.

Love people, showing them love of God.

Transition

top, hat: Target
shorts: J.Crew
wedges: Kate Spade
bag: Nine West

The days are still very warm but we are softly transitioning into fall. I'm trying to get every last bit of sunshine but wanting to embrace autumn colors and clothes, struggle with what to wear now. I see so many style bloggers pull out their jackets while I hesitate even to put on a blazer. 

I love this time of year but find it hard to balance the warmer temperatures with fall trends. It's a bit too warm for wool, leather and sweatshirts just yet. 

So I'm making my summer clothes work for my transitional wardrobe as I slowly pull out warmer clothes and mix it up a little.

Tip: wear your summer shorts with a three quarter sleeve and a hat for a more sophisticated look. Also, incorporate darker colors like black, brown, purple and burgundy, making those summer pieces shine in a whole new light.

Enjoy the last bit of summer!

It's going to be gone before we know it.

This Is Where I Come From

The Olympic City for Winter Games 2014

I come from a small family and have deep Russian roots. I was born and raised in Sochi, Russia. My parents decided to come look for a better life in the States, mainly because of my sister and I. You see, Sochi is a very tourist-oriented city, with hot summers and nasty rainy winters. The entire Slavic speaking population rushed for a chance to bask in the sun on the shores of black sea, there were no jobs, except to rent your two rooms to tourists and sleep on the 2x6 ft balcony. True story. My grandmother did it every year. 

My parents have totally different backgrounds - she, a third generation Christian and intelligent lady, and he, a divorcee with a kid and wild past. They tried to raise us the best they can - strict church attendance, close family relationships, cultural development with music lessons, art lessons, good grades and after school activities. Mom stayed home until I was in 5th grade and we were always learning, exploring and traveling.

As a family we traveled to Belarus every summer to see my grandparents and visit friends in Scandinavia (ironic because everyone else was rushing to Sochi not from it). Russian school ended on May 25th and started September 1st every year (still does), which gave us ample time to do whatever we wanted. 

My grandparents had a great influence on me and I still remember some of the greatest life lessons taught by my grandfather. Life was fun being a teenager on a farm. We didn't have TV, computers or even a phone so it was an unplugged summer every time. My grandpa read Bible every chance he had and listened to the news on an old soviet time radio, while commenting on how the Bolsheviks are taking over (although the Soviet Union was over by then). 

After we moved to the States, it was a long road to building a living from eight suitcases worth of stuff we came with to what we have now. Learning English on the spot and trying to fit in, discovering a totally new culture and trying to preserve our own. For me life was full of adventures: getting accepted by a few colleges and actually wining couple grants; getting jobs, dating and getting married to a fellow Russian.

A side note. I have nothing against American men but I would not be able to marry one. It's a cultural thing - you don't have to explain yourself every time you tell a joke or reference a Russian cartoon.

It  has been a tough road but it made me who I am today. 

Challenges bring out character and make us stronger. And I'm so thankful to my parents for uprooting their entire living at almost forty years old and bringing us here for a chance at better future.

August {Budgeting Series}

We have arrived to the end of summer!

This year has been the busiest and fastest years of my life. It may have something to do with the fact that I have an infant to take care of and a new house to organize. I'm tired already.

As you may know, last month hubby and I got a little carried away with shopping. I spent twice my allowed budget for the month, meaning that August was supposed to be my 'no shopping' month. 

And... I did it!

Turns out it's easier then you think. If you don't go to the mall or any other place that may tempt you with great deals and major sales, you are safe from temptation. 

I always find something I like, i.e. think that I need.

On Saturday we ventured out for a day of thrifting and hanging out as a family and, somehow, ended up in the mall. I picked up only $10 worth of tank tops from Joe Fresh summer sale, which doesn't count right?  I'm really liking the new JCPenny Home Collection and probably will get a few pieces from them. This lamp, accent chair and pillows are all on my wish list for the house.

Also I did some research, trying to figure out what my closet needs the most this fall. I'm done buying cheap stuff and wishing I could afford the good quality pieces. I'd rather buy few but nice things that I will enjoy wearing and get good use out of. If you think about it, CPW (cost per wear) goes down dramatically if you wear those J.Crew boots for the next three years.

Quality over quantity is my new motto and I'm sticking to it. I may end up spending more, or the same amount but I will be wearing quality pieces that will last me years.

This week I will be talking about my favorites for this fall and showing my wish list. Stick around to see what's new and exciting going on this season.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!

Guilt {Motherhood Challenges Series}

Before becoming a mother, I knew of the great responsibility that comes with the role. However I did not know that some of my biggest faults and challenges will come out of hiding and, having another human being in my care, be magnified by like a hundred. 

I've always struggled with guilt. 

Constantly feeling guilty for simple things that I choose to do for myself, my family and what others think of me. I mean, it's difficult being a people-pleasing perfectionist with guilt-ridden mind.

Since motherhood is a constant choice of parenting methods, feeding schedules and sleeping styles it's hard not to look at other moms and think 'how do they have it all together?'

People tell me that I only have one, that it's nothing compared to multiple kids. And maybe they are right. Maybe I'm just a big wimp and maybe I don't know anything but let me tell you something: it's hard.

It's hard enough with only one baby.

Having a community of other mamas, going through exactly the same thing you are going through sure is helpful but at the same time, we only things on very surface. I have fallen prey to letting others think that I'm the best mother out there; that I have it all together.

Most of the time I don't.

And since I'm doing it wrong one time or another, guilt is something that gets me down every time.

I feel guilty for not nursing until 99 months old. Although I'm still doing it and supplementing with formula, there are mamas out there who don't let their kids have a drop of formula. 

I feel guilty for taking time for myself during the day and letting him just play and whine a little on his own.

I feel guilty for letting him cry it out when he just doesn't want to do anything else, given that he's fed and changed. I taught him how to fall asleep on his own, but even that was heartbreaking at first. Letting him cry for five to ten minutes is hard enough but when I hear someone else say that you should pick your baby up every time he cries, just about puts me in tears.

I feel guilty for not taking enough family photos and missing his first laugh  Not taking a video of his first cry or whatever else important may have happened and I didn't have camera on hand.

I feel guilty for wanting to leave him (at mere four months old) with my sister, so hubby and I could go away for a few days. Although it didn't happen, people look at me with shock for not wanting to take the baby along with us. I feel guilty for being so selfish.

I feel guilty for forgetting to pick up my baby from the nursery the very first Sunday we went to church. I mean, who forgets they have a newborn? Apparently I do.

I feel guilty for wanting to go to work and not just be stay-home wife and mama. I hear people say that I should just enjoy him right now, which I absolutely do. Though, at times, I need to feel like I'm a grown adult with other interests besides what color his poop is or what new food should I try feeding him.. 

I feel guilty for not having enough patience with him when he just wouldn't eat those peaches; or when he doesn't want to go to sleep according to my schedule; or when his whining is driving me nuts. 

I feel guilty for getting too busy and not taking time to pray. To pray for my family, my little boy, for wisdom and guidance because I sure need it.

I feel guilty for not playing with him when I have chores to do, or simply not getting home for his bed time. 

I feel guilty for not spending enough time with hubby and constantly focusing on Jonathan. Even our conversations come down to what I do during the day and how long Jonathan naps.

All these things are every day challenges that mothers (read: I) face and I'm sure I'm not the only one. 

Or am I? Please tell me I'm not, so I can stop thinking that I'm crazy.

 With all the perfectly edited and filtered Instagram baby pictures (they don't have any food on their little bow ties and their hair is perfectly combed), I think it's time to get real. 

Life isn't perfect and we all have to deal with issues, we are all in the same boat. It's good to know that you are not the only one dealing with challenges and storm of emotions running through your postpartum body. That other mamas too give their babies formula, let them cry it out, play by themselves, don't have enough time for anything, forget their baby in the nursery, can't wait for 8 o'clock and want to escape the house sometimes. 

God has been teaching me patience. He has also been humbling me big time, showing me that I'm just like everyone else, that I don't have it all together, that I need Him every day. More then ever. 

At the end of the day, I pray God will guide me through and help me do my best. Although, when I don't succeed at times, there's always tomorrow and He will be there too.