February {Budgeting Series}

I can not believe that another month has come and gone.
 Baby Jonthan is 2 weeks old today and I'm finally starting to feel like a human being again. 

So when I said I'm going to do a monthly budget and try to stick with it, I did not, let me say it again, I DID NOT anticipate how hard it was going to be. So many times I would have be on the way somewhere and just wanted to 'stop by' Old Navy or Loft to see what they have on sale but had to resist. Did you know there is always a sale? Always.

Only now I realize how much shopping I was actually doing. It didn't seem like much every time because I never had major shopping sprees but thirty bucks here and a fifty bucks there would add up to be a substantial amount at the end of a month. Therefore February's $100 budget was a huge cut to my spending habit. But somehow (having a baby and being stuck at home for the last two weeks helped) I managed to not go over the limit too much.

Considering, all of these things were necessities (well except shoes. must.have.shoes) and there was no room left for the 'wants'. 

So do you budget? Or is it just too hard? Or maybe you are swimming in cash? I would love to hear from you and your experiences in the comments!  

Breastfeeding Tank (3) 19.99
These are a must for any nursing mom. I'm loving and currently living in them. 

Basic Tank(2) 12.99 each
I LOVE how soft these are. Even if you aren't preggo, go get yourself a couple. 
You will thank me later.

Pajama Top (2) $12.48
One thing you have to consider when buying PJs for nursing mom is an easy access to the merchandise. I bought a few sets of when I was still pregnant but that aspect somehow escaped my mind.

Striped Flat  $19.99
Shopping with hubby is an adventure when he finds the cutest pair of striped flats. Always looking out for me and then complaining that I have too many shoes. He is the best.

TOTAL: $130.90

                 -100.00

                                               over the budget---->$30.90

P.S. Can you tell I love shopping at Target? 

The Birth Story

This picture was taken right before we headed out to the hospital. 

I mean, how much bigger can you get when he kid is getting over-baked?

Not much more. 

I have been laying sleepless through couple nights thinking if I wanted to share this part of my life. I am a private person (with a personal life style blog, I know), and want to keep some of the very intimate and private details of this to myself  But I do want to share the incredible experience that brought my son into this world. (I still can't believe I'm saying the words 'my son')

As you may know I was overdue. I mean seven days isn't that long but it felt like an eternity to me. 

My last sonogram showed that he was 8lb and 13oz which isn't always accurate and usually +/- a pound. It's the plus side I was afraid off. There are many risks to waiting up to two weeks past due date but we know that babies don't go by our time. They just have a mind of their own. 

I was struggling between waiting him out couple more days and taking all those risks, or going for induction and taking more risks. Either way, it wasn't going to be an easy decision. 

Hubby was leaving the decision in my hands but after talking it through and praying, we decided to get the show on the road. 

On the way to the hospital my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my stomach.

So there was checking in and settling in, getting all the important info down and checked by the doctor. My cervix wasn't ripe enough, so that was the first step at 4pm. The medication was supposed to take about 12 hours to work and the next morning I would be ready for Pitocin ( I was not ready for it).

But my body decided otherwise. By 9pm my water broke and contractions were 2-3min apart by 11 pm. I was dilating very fast, so there was no time like the present to ask for epidural. 

Yes, I'm a big chicken. Hubby says I yelled pretty loud when contractions hit. The pain of the needle in your back is nothing compared to those awful contractions. 

So I got the epidural just in time because by 3am I was fully dilated and effaced, ready to push. 

That's when the trouble came.

Our baby didn't want to come out. He was fighting me with all his might, because his heart rate dropped half of what it was supposed to be only after three pushes. Doctor thought maybe it would jump up once I wasn't pushing but it was taking him long time to recover. 

          More of the same and she said that I will have to push for a while and he isn't tolerating the labor. 

But he had to come out. 

I cried. We cried. I begged to let me wait him out a little and maybe he will decide to show up. She did.

Forty five minutes later, the same story. 

So basically, there was no choice - push and risk him having brain damage or C-Section. 

I cried more, while they were rolling me into OR.

By 4:43 am he was born - healthy, happy and very alert. 

By 5-ish I was holding him in my arms and nursing my little man. Still in shock of what has happened, exhausted but happy.

More tears, more joy, more happiness.

Still happening to this day.

Mama Hurts, So You Don't Have To

We are home now. We are trying to nurse. As in, Jonathan is doing well - eating a lot, pooping even more but it's mama who's in pain. Let me just lay it out there. Breastfeeding hurts. A LOT. Supposedly, it doesn't when you get the latch right, but how do you make a newborn open his mouth as wide as his face? It's not a pleasant feeling - so far lots of pain and biting my lips so I wouldn't cry.But it's getting better. Slooowly.

I've always believed that nursing is a natural and most beautiful thing but it sure doesn't feel that way yet.
It takes a lot of practice and right now we are not very good at it.

Let's be honest, your boobs (there I said it) weren't sucked on, tugged and pulled at ever before and now they have to stand that abuse every 2-3 hours. Whoah! 

I want only the best for my little boy and willing to suffer through this but at 3 am when I'm clenching my teeth and trying not to take the precious food source out of his mouth (which he utterly enjoys, judging by the suckling sounds he makes), I feel like quitting.
But then I look at his precious little face and remember that only I can give him the best start in life. Only I can provide the precious nutrition, love and care and no one else.
It's hard but it's ohhh so worth it.

Motherhood is tough and there is nothing in the world that's so difficult and rewarding at the same time.

My Little Valentine

The sweetest Valentine's Day gift I have ever gotten

I'm back... and I can't believe how much my life has changed in these last couple of days. 

My mind keeps thinking, 'can you believe it'? 

You are a mommy now. 

The AMAZING feeling that knocks the socks off your feet and makes your head spin while you body is reminding you of the earth-shattering, mind-blowing, most painful experience of your entire life. There are no words to describe the pain, the back ache, the fear of unknown and the unpredictable. But you were made for this. For this role as a mom. 

It's unbelievable how much I love this little guy of mine. Right now, I'm an emotional mess, so every little crooked smile, every raised eyebrow, every dirty diaper and little wink makes my heart sink. 

I can't believe he is mine. Still. It's so surreal. 

Between the all-nightly feedings and burps, diaper changes and swaddling - time flies so fast. It seems like life just took on a pair of wings and determined to take me to his college graduation in one single breath. So I'm enjoying it. Every minute of it. This perfect, little, most adorable Valentine that stole my heart. 

Finding Motherhood Along Abbey Road {Guest Post}

Once the pregnancy is over and you have done all those things to make sure your baby is healthy, and actually gone through all the trials and tribulations of labor, you get to hold your bundle of joy. It's an emotional, confusing, exciting, scary and joyous time.
Here is Abbey from Along Abbey Road blog and her first motherhood experience. 

Hello, there! I am Abbey from Along Abbey Road. I am so happy to be here while Anna is loving on that precious little babe of hers!

Babies are miraculous, complex beings. Babies are also tiring and testing beings. I remember that first moment I sat on the couch with Luke, just the two of us. Both Matt's mom and my own had made their rounds teaching us their best-practiced mothering skills and Matt reluctantly went back to work, tired, worn, and learning to adjust to this new world (bless that ole' chap's heart).

There sat this helpless, wrinkly, perfect human in my arms. I was terrified and thrilled all in the same moment. I already knew him from the kicks, flutters, and rolls we shared those last 10 months, but now he was really there. Tears flooded my eyes that we had been blessed to rear and direct this amazing soul.

I will never forget the feel of Luke's silky almost translucent skin. The smell of his tiny body curled up under my chin. The softly pleading and adorable cry. The way he reached up his tiny, 1-inch hand to mine while he fed, reassuring me that I was his favorite and most-needed person in the world.

Those are the moments that we mothers live for.
Congratulations, Anna! So excited for you to create your own loving memories with your beautiful baby boy!