Tired

top: Forever21, skirt: JCPenny, shoes: BCBGirls, bag: Kate Spade NY, 

I'm  really tired. 

You know when you are tired and all you can think of is hitting that pillow? 

Well, this is it.

But it's the good kind of tired, knowing a lot was accomplished and planned ahead, so that later on, I can be less tired. If that's going to be ever possible.

Also it's the feeling of not enough sleep, and busy weekend.

Although, that sunshine sure made it all worthwhile. 

And just to let you know, a quick nap on my freshly sprung green lawn was amazing! 

So I'm off to enjoy my delicious homemade breakfast (hubby is home this morning) which includes French Toast, egg casserole, bacon and sausage. So maybe that's why I'm tired? Yep that must be it.

Although I'm not too tired for another piece of toast.

Neva!

Have yourself a nice day!

Casual Mommyform

top: Old Navy (similar), cords: Land's End, flats: Target, tote: Gap

Since becoming a mom, flats, cords (love those things) and easy-to-throw-on tops, that give easy access to merchandise,  have become kind of my thing. Especially if I have a million places to go to. 

Between groceries, dry cleaners, bank and post office it's a lot of times in and out of the car WITH the car seat. I have to get out of the car, take the car seat out, haul it with me, come back, put the seat back, all while making sure Jonathan is not too hot or cold. 

You mommies out there know the drill. 

So as you can tell, heels have become more of a Sunday thing - going to church all dressed up while hubby carries the stupid thing. 

Jonathan is growing fast and it's already hard for me to get up two flights of stairs from the garage to our main floor, with my purse and his diaper bag. (I actually consolidated the two recently) 

 Thankfully, places like Old Navy, Forever21 and Target are selling some cute flats and clothes that I don't have to worry about being too neat (i'm still a perfectionist and a neat freak).

So here I go sporting my mommyform, conveniently having nowhere to go today. 

Wait, I think I need stamps.

Have yourself a great weekend!

Strawberry Cake {recipe}

 I mean, it's obviously a recipe post. Take a look at the picture. Duh. But I went ahead and put {recipe}in there just for kicks. Just to make sure.

So here it is. The cake I was raving about. 

Honestly the first time I made it, I was going to take pictures but forgot and it disappeared too quick for me even to take a shot of one piece. After making it second time and forgetting to take pictures AGAIN I had to finish the cake all by myself. It was too good. This time I was afraid to forget again, so I left a note on my phone telling me to take pictures. If that's not getting old, I don't know what is. 

Let me know how you guys like it. And if you like it at all.

Ingredients:

for the cake

- 2 cups of Bisquick

- 8 eggs

- 1 cup sugar

for the frosting

- 1 cup heavy cream

- 1/2 cup powdered sugar

- 1/2 tsp vanilla

- 1/2 package cream cheese (softened)

- 1 stick butter (softened)

for the syrup

- juice of 1/2 lemon

- 4 tbsp sugar

- 3 tbsp cognac

- 1 cup of warm water

for garnish

- strawberries

-chopped pecans

Method:

Preheat oven to 300 F

Beat eggs and sugar on high until light and fluffy. Add Bisquick and mix just until combined, don't over beat. Divide the mixture between two pans.

Pour 2/3 of the batter into well greased round 9'' pan and bake on 300 F for 45 minutes. Let it cool until able to handle, then take out of the form. When the cake is completely cool, cut it lengthwise in half. 

Pour the other 1/3 into 8'' round pan and bake for 30 minutes at 300 F. Take out and let cool completely. 

Beat  heavy cream and powdered sugar until stiff picks form. (To get best results with whipped cream, place the bowl, whisk and cream in freezer for 5 minutes). Set aside, but not before getting a nice taste of that deliciousness. Yummy!
In a different bowl, beat cream cheese and butter together until uniform mixture forms, add whipped cream and vanilla and combine.

Meanwhile, mix all the ingredients for syrup together and set aside until the sugar dissolves completely. Pour the syrup evenly over the two halves of the cake.

Take the other cake and tear it apart into small pieces. Cut strawberries into small pieces and mix with about 2/3 of the frosting. Just careful not to get carried away with the strawberries and eat them all. They do look good though.

Take the bottom half of the cake and spread a little frosting on it. Then put the cake/strawberry/frosting mixtures and top off with second half of the cake. Spread the rest of the frosting over the cake, covering the sides.

Cover the edges with pecans and top with cut strawberries. Then scrape the bowl of frosting clean, while complaining to your husband that your old pre-maternity jeans don't fit your perfectly too round bottom. Let out a big Sigh. Move on with life.

Let the cake stand in the fridge for at least 3 hours, better yet 12. 

Enjoy a piece. Or two. 

Then sigh about your long lost size 4 jeans.

You Don't Know Until You've Been There.

It's amazing how fast time flies.

Although I have learned a lot in the last two and a half months of motherhood, one thing is for sure - you cannot say you will do this or that, or know better when you haven't had children, or experienced exactly the same situation, or had 'that' kid. 

 Until you've been there. 

Until you've done everything possible to have natural delivery and ended up with C-section.

Until you've been through the sleepless nights and colicky cries.

Until you've tried everything to calm the baby and it just seems that nothing works. 

Until you've stood over his crib trying to put him to sleep and he just wants to smile and play with you.
Until you've realized that all he wants is to be on your chest.

Until you've heard every kind of cry and KNOW what your baby needs at them moment.

Until you tried to introduce the bottle so you can leave him for more then two hours but he wouldn't take it.

Until you've followed the schedule and failed.

Until you've tried to nurse but the baby just won't take the breast but does fine with the bottle.

Until you've lost your milk supply very early on and hated that you had to switch to formula.

Until you've tried to give the formula but baby refuses.

Until you've realized that babies are people, and people have bad days. 

As friends, family members and just acquaintances, I think we all have offered advice in one form or another. 

But until you've at least been there, you can't say what works and what doesn't. 

And even then, all babies are different. 

Some want to be held all the time, others are completely satisfied without being smothered. 

Some want to eat every 2 hours for the first year of their life, others sleep through the night at one month old.

Some take pacifier, others like to suck on their thumb.

Some will be potty trained by 8 months, others still wet their pants at 3 years old. 

Honestly, every mother has her own struggles and until you've been there, until you've had that child, until you've tried everything under the sun, you have no idea what you would do.

So let's stop judging (which I'm guilty of as well) and start encouraging because God knows, we need it the most.

We, mothers, need to support and encourage each other in the fine job that we are doing, because we all know that it's hard enough without being criticized every step of the way.

Brutiful Reality

Here is behind the scenes look.

"I just want to have that boob already" 
Parents trying to take pictures when baby wants to have lunch 

 "Stop with the pictures and take me out of this stupid 
car seat already" 
Pictures after a long ride in the car 

"I was cute and cuddly, and I wore your stupid bowtie Ma, 
now can we get this over with?" 
Too many pictures when everyone wants to hold the baby 

 "Seriously folks! You put me into a jacket and a collared 
shirt and expect me to like it?"
 Taking pictures after a long day at church and out  

It's not always pretty.

Sometimes, babies don't make those adorable, precious and beautiful pictures happen.

Babies have a mind of their own and absolutely no schedule.

Parents are trying to go by the clock and babies... well, who knows what they go by. Mostly, the positioning of the moon and their hungry tummies.

When the two try to co-exist in one world, life gets messy.

And I am a real mama trying to navigate in the midst of dirty diaper, couple sleepless nights and an always-hungry stomach in high heels and couple designer handbags.

My life is not a perfect Instagram picture.

My life is sometimes brutal and always amazingly beautiful.

It's Brutiful.

And I love it. Well, Most of the time.

Have a great weekend!

Beautiful

top: Gap (similar), skirt: J.Crew, shoes: Aldo (similar), bag: Kate Spade NY ,

How beautiful you think you are?

What do you think of your appearances?

If someone asked you to describe yourself to a blind person, what would be the image in his mind? 

Would it be an image of a beautiful person, so someone unattractive? 

Our perception of beauty is so distorted, thanks to Victoria Secret ads. If only we knew the amount of work it takes to make those women look like that, we would be shocked. 

On some level we do know that the magazine covers, fashion shows and billboard ads have been digitally altered to look like that but who said that computer-produced image of a woman is true beauty?

This  video is a real eye-opener to us as women. Honestly, the amount of self-destructive thinking and negative attitude that we have, it's really amazing we think anything of ourselves at all.

 Beauty really does come from the inside because if you think that you are unattractive, others will you see that way. 

We are beautiful because we are real. Real women with real bodies and real lives. 

Don't forget to love yourself and channel that inner beauty for the world to see. 

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde 

On Perfectionism

top: Ann Taylor, pants: thrifted, heels: BCBGirls, bow: Old Navy (belt from dress), bag: Target

I must admit: I'm a perfectionist by nature. With people-pleasing, every-person-approval-seeking tendencies. Sometimes it gets a little nuts in this head of mine. 

My desire for the 'right' way sometimes gets in the way of what's more important - things like friendships, personal relationships and love.
The most difficult part about motherhood (and life in general) is finding balance. The balance between a disciplinarian and too permissive parent, accepting friend and judgmental one.
In an effort to find that balance I'm trying to go a little easier on myself and on my child.
There will be bad days. That's just a fact of life.
Sometimes he will be fussy and I won't feel like going by schedule.
Sometimes you just have to let go and let it be.
Those are the times when you figure out that life will go on with unwashed dishes in the sink and take out dinner, so that mama can get some rest and relaxation.
As you know, when mama is happy, everybody is happy.
So go ahead and have yourself a perfect day.

Banana Bread {recipe}

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and now that the nice weather is actually making its appearance over in our area, I'm so ready to get outside and enjoy it. 

The most exciting part is that I can finally go walking in the park with my munchkin and start getting back into shape faster. I do have a treadmill but running in the garage, while staring at my husband's tools, is not fun or does it make me want to do it over and over again. 

If you notice, all my recipes haven't really been 'diet' type. I don't know why, but I have such a sweet tooth lately. I've always been more of savory kinda gal but I think breastfeeding, working out, or what have you, is making me crave sweets. Yeah, not good. 

So I'm trying to curb my cravings a little bit while not indulging in too many sweet things. One of my favorites is banana bread. Our pastor's wife has been making most delicious, moist and decadent banana bread for years and always shares with us during Christmas time. She did give me the recipe but it never came out right. I decided to give it a try one more time with a little tweak. It was pure perfection. 

Go get some bananas. Let them sit on your counter for a week and make yourself a banana bread. 

Trust me. It's gooooood.  

INGREDIENTS

• 3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
• 1/3 cup melted butter
• 3/4 cup sugar 
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• Pinch of salt
• 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

HOW TO:

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). 

With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

***My oven tends to be on hotter side so I bake it on 325F for an hour and then leave on 300F for another 30 minutes. It seems to do the trick - comes out moist and perfectly browned. Work with your oven.

Random

top, cardigan: Loft, pants: Target, shoes: Aldo, bag: Kate Spade NY

Couple random things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

- For one, spring in New York is a bazaar event. We technically don't have the ideal warm spring days slowly warming up to summer. We jump from snowing one day into 70-degree weather the next, so it's funny watching people's choice of clothes. Walking in the park earlier this week I saw everything from warm winter boots to tank tops and it wasn't even that warm. First glimpse of sunshine and people are ready to go tanning on their porch. We are desperate. 

- Pinterest is my new addiction now. Trying to decide how to decorate a bare wall in my living room, I cannot stop searching for different ways to use that space. I'm afraid, I will never decide on either use all black frames for personal family pictures or just buy a giant wall art. Help.

- I used to think that ladies who stay at home with an infant have ton of time on their hands. Now that I'm doing that and I don't seem to have any time for leisure, I get upset when people assume I'm lounging all day. It takes a lot of work to care for such a little person.

- I want to learn to sew well enough to make my own clothes, or at least learn how to alter them.

- Having a budget is tough. Having a budget that you share with everyone on internet is just plain harsh. I'm biting my lips but sticking to it.

//Jonathan// Two Months

Dear boy,

you are eight weeks old now and I don't know whether to count every four weeks from the day you were born or just the 13th of every month, I mean it's just a technicality.

You are growing oh so fast and changing almost every day. 

You started smiling and love to 'talk' to us. Whenever I start baby talk you focus your eyes on my face and try so hard to imitate what I'm doing with my mouth.

I love that toothless grin.

You have the most adorable babble talk, especially when I hear your daddy talking to you, as he's changing your diaper. For one, daddy takes his sweet time with you and really gets into it. It's so sweet.

You finally discovered the sheep mobile over your crib and love staring at it but I'm not sure it works to make you sleepy. 

You are nursing every two-three hours during the day which sometimes seems like you are always feeding (but that's only good for mommy's getting-back-into-shape ordeal. thanks buddy). On the other hand you sleep about five-six hours a night. So I'll take it.

I'm still trying to figure out which foods make you colicky and so far eggs and almost all greens are to be limited in my intake. 

We went out to eat once after church and you were such a good boy. An older couple sitting at an adjacent table was mesmerized by your cuteness. And who could blame them?

Then we went out with entire familia and you weren't thrilled, plus mommy forgot your paci. Sorry bud. I guess you don't like Greek food.

Also, we blessed you in church with pastor praying for you. It was a dear moment for us as parents.

I think in the last eight weeks we sort of got you used to being held a lot. You do not like to lay for long time and after about twenty minutes demand to be picked up.

That's going to have to change with some gentle discipline.

You do like to sit in a swing though which is, of course, a life saver.

You are one cute kid and we absolutely adore you.

I just wish you didn't have to grow up so quick.

5Days5Ways: Day 5

Being Creative: Day 5

top: American Eagle, skirt: J.Crew, shoes: Tahari, bag: Kate Spade NY, necklace: NY&Co

Whew! For some reason this week is going by at about 90 pmh. It's already Friday and I feel like Monday was just here. And it's not the good kind of feeling 'yay! Friday is here' but 'what? it's already Friday?'

 It's not that I'm terribly busy (I think), as much as you can be with an infant, but time just seems to fly by.

Sunshine and longer days are really motivating me to do a lot more. Get outside, clean the garage, organize all the boxes from the move, finally put away my winter clothes, take out my pretty spring wreath and hang it on the front door, hang up family pictures and decorate our bare walls. 

There is just so much to do and I'm itching to start.

You see, I'm a perfectionist so either I do it exactly the way I want or I just don't do it at all. 

So that's why you will either see a spotless and perfectly neat garage/closet/kitchen/basement or there is an absolute mess. I don't do things half way - it's either all or nothings. 

Tomorrow I'm doing it all. 

Welcome spring!
Are ya here to stay?

5Days5Ways: Day 4

 Being Creative: Day 4

top:Old Navy, skirt: J.Crew, flats: Target, clutch: TJMaxx

So now we are back to spring. Oh my goodness, this weather is craaaaaazy!

Enough about the weather though.

I have discovered an amazing cake recipe. It's not from Pinterest or FoodNetwork. Well, I'm sure someone somewhere on the face of the Earth already thought of it, but that's not important. The point is - I came up with it all on my own. Of course, it doesn't help the weight loss cause but we had people over and that's just another excuse to make a cake. And let me tell you, it was delicious. Not  to brag or anything but I think it was the best cake I have ever made. Recipe will be coming shortly because I forgot to take pictures the first time and need to make another one. Seriously not doing myself any favors here.

Anyhow. 

I'm off to run errands because daddy is home and staying with Jonathan today. Mama needs some time to herself and that amazing cup of green tea latte from Starbucks, that I haven't had in months. Yes please! 

Enjoy the sunshine!

5Days5Ways: Day 2

Being Creative: Day 2

button-up: Hollister, skirt: J.Crew, necklace: Sharlotte Russe. bag: H&M, shoes: Kenneth Cole

So have you guessed my repeating item of clothing? Yes, it's the cobalt blue pencil J.Crew skirt. I love skirts because they are very versatile - they can go from very dressy with a silk blouse to casual with a simple white tee. Honestly, I think I own five times as many skirts as jeans. Plus I like to dress up. 

Staying at home most of the time doesn't give me many chances to wear pencil skirts, except to church. So I've primarily focused on putting together casual outfits that can be worn while doing everyday activities.

On a totally separate note, yesterday was April Fools day and I had a chance to joke with some people.

 It was much fun!

Have a great Tuesday!

March {Budgeting Series}

March Budget

March's budget was a little more because I knew I would be buying some outerwear/boots  for next season. I was hoping to get a pair of nice leather cognac boots but unfortunately didn't find exactly what I was looking for. So here is the breakdown of my shopping experience from last month. And although I did not stick to budget to the last cent, I'm very proud of myself for dodging all those adorable new arrivals at Target. That's what this month is for. Seriously you guys, they have some cute skirts and floral pants out. Go check them out before I buy them all will ya? 

Happy Shopping!

• Scarf $14.99 Target - I needed a bright floral scarf for spring because as it gets nicer out sometimes all you need is bright scarf to bring some color to outfit. 
• Vest $13.49 (Original Price $49.99) Land's End - I have been look out for winter outerwear to go on sale, so I can stock up for next season. Hubby needed a new puffer and with the sale at local Land's End we hit jackpot.
• Puff Jacket $27.99 (Original Price $69.99) Land's End -  the one I bought sold out online but this is a similar one. It seems that all my outerwear is either black or brown so I went with bold color - burnt orange/red. Loving it.
• Intimates and Hosiery $63.00 Target - the unmentionable nursing gear and tights. 
• Workout Leggings $27.99 Target - getting on that treadmill isn't easy but having the appropriate workout gear sure helps. Plus they are super comfy and I wear them around the house all the time. 
• Belt $12.99 Target - I really thought I needed this belt in light pink but turns our I didn't really. And now that I have thrown out the receipt, I am keeping it. Plus pastels are very in this season so I will use it somehow. 
• Sweater $4.99 Loft (Thrifted) - it's a an oversized long merino wool sweater to wear at home with my leggings. Comfy and warm.
• Dress $3.99 Banana Republic (Thrifted) - a cute color-block dress that fits me well and perfect with leggings to lounge at home

BUDGET: $150.00

TOTAL SPENT: $169.43

_____________________

Overspent: $19.43

So how did you do with your budget? 

Did you stick to it or went completely overboard? 

                      

5Days5Ways: Day1

Being Creative: Day 1

top: Loft, skirt: J.Crew, shoes: Ann Taylor, necklace: NY&Co, bag: Kate Spade NY

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend.

I have been a little challenged in my closet with my postpartum body. It's hard to find clothes that fit with the little bit of belly I have left and little more of booty. I have a few pieces that fit right now but don't want to get a whole new wardrobe just for this transitional stage, because I am planning on loosing the extra poundage. 

I am very optimistic. 

But right now I still have to get dressed and be creative with the few clothes that fit my bum. 

So here is a challenge: take a piece of clothing and using other pieces from my wardrobe to create 5 outfits. That's five days taken care of! And although I don't like to have so few pieces to work with, it's challenging me to think creatively. Plus re-discovering clothes that I put away before my last trimester is like shopping all over again. And I don't spend a single cent. 

Here is to being creative with what you've got!

Day 1.