Sunday

top: Loft, cardigan:Gap, skirt: JCPenny, shoes: Nine West, necklace: Charlotte Russe

Another week. Another Sunday night (when I'm writing this post).

It's amazing how fast the time flies. Especially with a newborn. 

Sundays are our busiest days. Think getting a three course dinner for twelve out of town guests busy.

It goes like this. 

I feed Jonathan as hubby makes some coffee for himself and tea for me.

Then he burps and changes a diaper as I do my make up and hair.

Then I get baby dressed, and probably change again, as hubby dresses himself.

Then I get dressed (and hopefully something fits)

Somehow we manage to eat left over pancakes and bacon from yesterday and have some coffee/tea. 

Then strap the kid into the car seat, check the diaper count in the bag and off we go.

Come back. Have lunch. That is Jonathan gets his lunch first then we eat.

Maybe a nap.

Repeat routine from morning and off we go again for evening service.

By the time we get home that night we are beat.

The only way we (read: I) can survive a day like this is by planning ahead.

I get all the outfits picked out the night before and iron everything that needs to be ironed, then hang them on the door.

Then I get lunch ready to be set in the oven the next morning. I even pour water into tea cattle so all I have to do the next morning is to turn it on.

Don't get me wrong,

I love being in the service. I love the people.

 I love Sundays.

But they are just a tad busy.

Thank God there are Mondays.

Then it starts all over again. 

Advice

top: Target, skirt: thrifted, shoes: Tahari, necklace: Sharlotte Russe, 
belt, glasses: Loft, bag: Kate Spade NY

Yesterday was the second time we took Jonathan to church. He loved it - sleeping the car seat the entire time. Who wouldn't? He was snuggled in his penguin suit with the matching hat, covered with a blankey and a cover for the outside and quickly became most popular kid on the block. I mean, he is the cutest. 

Yet somehow, 'he wasn't warm enough' according to some.

There isn't one way to raise a kid. All advice isn't good. And only because another mother did it this way does not mean I have to follow. 

It may sound selfish, but I want to do it my way. 

I may not know everything, I don't have the years of experience but what I do have is mother's instinct. 

There are so many people (I mean, like everyone) offering advice. 

He's crying - must be you didn't feed him enough. Don't do the schedule thing, just give him boob every time.

He's crying again - tummy hurts so give him some water.

Again - don't rock him, he will get used to it.

And again - he's just plain cold (favorite of Russians).

Everyone has some kind of advice to offer and only because they raised couple kids and did something and it worked for them, it does not mean it will work for me. 

I really do like good advice. I listen. I take it all in. Only I decide what's good for me and what isn't. 

It's a right I reserve for myself as a mother.

Because mother knows best. 

:-)

Awkward

You know that stage of your life when you are about thirteen years old and just starting to develop? You still act like a kid, and probably look like one but your body is going through this huge change. One day you wake up a normal kid and the next BAM! you are becoming a woman, all emotional and hormonal. 

Well, that's sort of what it feels like right now. 

My body is is still recovering and far (close to twenty pounds to the south far) from what I started with.
It needs time. 

I have the belly that's slowly shrinking and some additional bootay, and of course, the girls are doing their duty too. I mean, it's all disproportional and out of line. Add to that my hormones jumping off the cliff and you've got a mess. 

So one of two things can happen. I can either pout and cry over my incongruous body or I can embrace this stage and just do my best. I'm picking the latter.
My body has accomplished a gigantic task and brought a life into this world. I can be hard on myself sometimes but this awkward-turned-plump stage isn't permanent. Hopefully.
I don't want to focus on the negative but rather enjoy the sweet little boy that I have. He's a joy and a blessing, so take that belly fat.

No Rush

This black maxi is the only thing that fits my big belly at this point.
Miss my regular clohes

It's been all about birth, baby and other pregnancy related things here but that's my life. And since this blog is about my life - there is no way of getting around it all.
After reading this post by an awesome fellow blogger, I have been thinking.
I've decided to consciously enjoy every single moment of every day until our baby boy arrives.

 People keep asking me how long I have left and that unintentionally reminds me that it's
getting VERY close but he's still not here.

 It seems like we rush through a lot of things in life but this time is not going to ever come back. 

I'm not going to be just wife, sister, daughter and friend. I'm going to be a mother. 

You can't rush through motherhood.
You can't rush through life. 
God is giving me this time to reflect and learn to trust Him to give us our boy at a perfect time.

So while I wait... 

Spending lots of quality time with hubby, sleeping in when possible, shopping, watching movies and  just enjoying time together. Ohhhh yes, still debating on the name.
Spending time with friends and family, hanging out with my mom and sister.
Reading a few baby books and one just for pure pleasure of reading.
Trying different recipes - cooking and baking deliciousness.
So take your time baby boy (reasonable amount), get strong and big (not too big) to face this currently-below-zero-temperatures world.

Can You Say Big Belly?

cardigan: Loft, skirt: NY&Co, shoes: Anna Taylor, shirt: Target, 

So yes, here I am.

My big pregnant belly and I. 

I think this may be the last picture I'm willing to put on Internet for everyone to see.

Honestly I didn't know I was this huge until saw these pictures. I mean, that baby is taking his chubs very seriously. I have all the regular symptoms of 9 months preggo lady - heartburn, lower back pain,  hunger at all times of day and night, restless leg syndrome when I want to sleep, swollen ankles, going to the bathroom a million times a day in turn making myself familiar with the location of all the public restrooms in our town. But this belly is getting kind of uncomfortable. I can't tie my shoes, it's hard to sit straight up and don't even get me started on trying get a full night's sleep. 

Can't wait for him to arrive.
The doctor says that everything is normal and going very well. What does he know? He never carried one of these. The baby's head is down and there is no way to tell how big how is - I mean shouldn't they have invented some machine for that too? 

I had couple contractions (it hurts. like a lot) which only made me think that I hope I won't chicken out and try to go the natural way. 

So while I get bigger and try to eat the fridge itself (midnight snacks are the best),

 hope you are having a great day.

Different Perspective

top: Forever21, cardigan: Gap, skirt; Motherhood Maternity, shoes: Payless

It's getting cold outside. 

I've got a case of sore throat and a broken heart.

I feel like last weekend, I've taken this tragedy very differently. 

When you don't have children, yes, it's tragic; yes, it's sad. But when you are a mother

 (or about to become one) it just simply physically hurts. 

Knowing that one of those days your little one is going to go to a similar school, sit in similar classroom and as you agonize over the fact that something like this can happen again. 

You stop believing in the world with good people. 

You just want to crawl into a giant hole and have enough canned goods to last you a life time. 

But that's not the reality. That's not the world we live in.

So let's take responsibility for our children. Teach them, love them and send them off to the world with bad people. World where they can be the good people. 

Becoming a mother does change you forever. 

It gives you a different perspective on life, on what's important. 

Life is a precious gift. Family is most important. Love is boundless. And God is still good to all of us.

Decisions... Decisions...

sweater: TJMaxx, shirt: Ralph Lauren, skirt: J.Crew, shoes: Payless
(31 weeks pregnant and wishing I could wear Pjs all the time)

So this whole buying-stuff-for-the-baby thing is exhausting. I'm not sure what's harder picking out hard wood floors or a stroller. Definitely the stroller. Then you need a car seat, glider for nursery, bottles, diapers, wipes, blankets, swaddling cloths and whole lot more. 

My hubby and I are both perfectionists (he's to a lesser degree but still in denial) so we scan almost everything with the phone app and look online for the reviews (and better deals, of course). 

So we were buying swaddling sheets and between couple choices of cotton and muslin, we stood in the baby isle for about ten minutes checking the reviews. Yeah, talk about perfectionists. After thorough consideration and mini discussion, we decided on muslin.

Next on the menu, picking out a travel system. There are many requirements and different criteria that we want it to meet and, in a way, we are probably over doing it a little. But it's our first, and we are nutty parents,  maybe just a little. So for now, we are going to research the living days out of every single thing. 

I think we are becoming those parents. 

And that's just scary.

Merry Berry

sweater: Target, blazer: Banana Republic, skirt: thrifted, heels: BCBGirls, 

So the mamma over here is growing by the hour. We are almost at 31 weeks and he's super very active. I mean, it looks like I have a Rocky-in-da-making in there - you can see the belly bounce. Like a lot.

It's becoming very real with all the baby shower gifts and diapers all over our house. Hubby doesn't really appreciate all the ruffles on the bassinet, but there are no manly bassinets out there. So the kiddo (and the daddy) are going to have to make peace with the most adorable bassinet that my friends gifted me.

On totally different note, I'm loving the berry color right now. It feels like I'm wearing a little bit of Christmas, and that's just very merry berry. 

Have a great day! 

What Color Is That?

sweater: J.Crew, blazer: Gap, skirt: thrifted, shoes: Aldo, necklace: uknown

Between my mom and my sister, and couple of other people in church, the color of my tights have been misinterpreted. It's a mustard color people, which I, for one, think goes perfectly well with teal, but apparently I had Jaundice legs. 

I must say that it takes huge amount of energy to find something that fits now-a-days. Therefore, scarves, jewelry and different color tights are the things that un-blah my clothes. Honestly, I feel more comfortable in a skirt then jeans (weird, I know). So my work uniform is skirt, heels (still) and sweater.

But the college is over in two weeks (yay) and I can just live in my soft pink PJs, which my hubby says make me look very homey (whatever that means). 

I guess that's better then Jaundice legs. 

Thankful For... The Little Things

sweater, boots: TJMaxx, skirt: thrifted, scarf: H&M, glasses: Loft

We are so blessed to have many material things, all the things we need. More over, we have pretty much everything we want. 

I'm so thankful for...

having my own vehicle

my computer, phone and other technology gadgets that help to make my life easier

the heat and hot water I have in my house every day 

my favorite Kate Spade NY bag

the daily abundance of food on our table 

being able to afford entertainment and fun things to do 

definitely Pinterest (I cannot live without it anymore)

the smile I see on my hubby's face when he looks at my belly - he's such a proud daddy

my little niece and her adorable chubby cheeks - love her to pieces

maternity jeans - the best purchase so far

our cozy new house

being able to have ultrasound - I don't know how people wait nine months to find out gender

feeling my little one move constantly

pancake breakfast with the hubs

sunny fall day... perfect for running errands

Thank you for reading this blog and being a part of my life!
Have a great and joyousThanksgiving!

Thankful For... Us

shirt: Evan Picone, sweater: Loft, skirt: NY&Co, shoes: BCBGirls, bag: Kate Spade NY 

I just want to take time to count all the blessings and give thanks to God for everything that I have. From the material to spiritual blessing and everything in between, I am truly blessed.

Some things that I am thankful for...

the best husband in the world - he truly is my rock, my best friend and love of my life. 

this precious gift of life that's growing inside of me... becoming a mother is truly life-changing... 

being able to satisfy my pregnancy cravings without being bound by financial constraints (most people in other countries can't splurge on scallops or sushi every week)

having fun and just enjoying life from simple things like staying in bed on Saturday morning to getting pampered at a local spa with a massage

being able to have fun together, enjoying each other's company

stealing a kiss in the middle of a crazy busy day

planning our future together and talking about our boy

getting a place we can call our own, our home

enjoying similar interests - from movies to political discussions

being able to talk about everything and anything

having the security and love in our relationship grow stronger with every day

simply being able to live with each other day in and day out, seeing those ugly sides and still falling in love with each other every single day

place in hearts that we call family - just the two of us (soon to be three of us)

Happy Harvest

blouse: Merona/Traget, cardigan: Loft, skirt: J.Crew, necklace: J.Crew (via Ebay),
shoes: Aldo, bag: Kate Spade NY

We were celebrating Harvest Sunday at the church and the weather could not have been any more perfect. I'm so thankful that we live in the land of plenty and being able to have what we want, not only what we need. 

Honestly, too many times, we as Americans, complain about thing that aren't even necessities. Most of the world population struggles to make ends meet and I have family oversees that go through that on daily basis. They have tiny little apartments (think tiny and scale it down by like 10), get around on public transportation and eat fruit only during summer months when it's cheap. 

We need to appreciate things that we have, the plentiful, great harvest and the prosperity in this land. 

All Gone

sweater: Loft, skirt: TJMaxx, shoes: Guess, clutch: H&M

Whew! That hurricane sure did scare the heck out of everyone, but thankfully nothing major came up our way.We has some major wind gusts and that was pretty much about it.

Although, there were some blessings in disguise.

While the winds raged and we were snuggled up on out couch, the hurricane blew all the fallen leaves off our property. We were supposed to rake them last weekend but had lots going on. So thank you Sandy for doing us a favor. It was mighty nice of ya.

Have a great day! 

Contemplations On Impending Motherhood

I honestly have to say that I am scared of the future role as a mother. It is an enormous, gigantic and such an amazing responsibility for someone else's life. So in a way, I have been fighting it. 

I wanted to hold on to the old me where what I did only impacted myself and not this other 

tiny person inside of me.

I honestly am terrified of the thought of this great change and great responsibility, the birth process, the first bad word out of his mouth, the first tantrum and the thought of me forgetting my baby somewhere in the store. (It's the pregnancy hormones giving me weird dreams)

Also I have been mad at my body for doing what it's supposed to - growing my healthy boy inside me and I feel terrible for it. 

I just don't want my little guy to feel unloved. 

I think it took me a while to recognize the change that's happening and the fact that I didn't want to 

accept it - in everything from my body to our home dynamic. 

But there will be three of us and it's a wonderful thing.

I have to say, I am grateful that God entrusted me with this awesome responsibility and that I was worthy 

of His great blessing.

 I am happy to carry this little life. Every time I think of this little man inside me, my eyes tear up and I get a huge something stuck in my throat. I can't breath from the thought of it.

This is only going to happen once. I will be pregnant with our first child only once and it will be forever different, because life is amazing. No matter what God holds for us down the road.

P.S. Check out the Fall Remix Challenge  from lovely Jessica @ What I Wore. This is going to be funnnn! 

Embracing the Moment

top: Target, cardigan: Gap, skirt: Express, shoes: Nine West, necklace, bracelet: Charlotte Russe

Once upon a time, I vowed not to live life ungrateful  I didn't want to work all my life for that dream job, just to get there and realize I didn't want it after all. I didn't want to wait to live. I didn't want to think along the lines of "just let me finish college then..." or "when we buy a house of our own, then..." or " it's when we have kids of our own then..." 

But lately all I catch myself thinking is exactly that.

I have to admit, I haven't been embracing each and every moment.

I keep thinking forward to the end of my pregnancy and what I'm going to do then. How I'm going to exercise more, take my kid to the park and do other fun things.

I keep thinking that when we finally move into our new home, I will have all my cupboards organised and shelves without any dust. Ever.

That's what happens, when we forget to just live in the moment. Do the best we can to enjoy life right now.

Even if that means organizing all my cupboards right before we move.

But you don't wake up one day thinking, that from now on you will enjoy life and embrace the beauty of it.

It's a process. It's enjoying one day at a time.

This year has been the hardest of my entire life but it's also have been the most blessed. I am learning to live to the fullest because I don't know what tomorrow will bring and how it's going to change me forever.
Here is to enjoying the life right now.

Have a great day! 

For the Peoples

blazer: H&M, skirt: Banana Republic, shoes, tights: TJMaxx, scarf: old

Sometimes people disappoint. 

Sometime, people hurt.

Other times, it's great to just share with some people.

And sometimes you find people (if you at least find one, you are blessed) without whom your life would just be endlessly empty and cold. 

So I guess, there are many different people in out lives, and they are there for a very specific reason.

Some teach us hard, valuable lessons. Others just support and encourage us. 

When you put all those people together- it's called life.

So to learn some things, to get better at other things, to challenge us, to support us, to guide us and sometimes just to simply make us mad, we have been blessed with people in our lives with whom this life is infinitely full and satisfying.

Thank you everyone for being part of this blog and journey I'm on.
Each and everyone of you is greatly appreciated!

Still in Heels

skirt: TJMaxx, sweater: H&M, scarf: Gap, shoes: Kenneth Cole, clutch: NY&Co

I was standing in line to sign into the hospital security system which is a pain after 9pm, (my hubby works at a local hospital, where his on-call shifts last anywhere between two to eight hours and he can't leave the patient) bringing my beloved some food. 

The couple standing right in front of me was obviously headed to the ER. The guy had sniffles and was dressed in his pajamas, while the lady was holding his cold medicine, constantly looking back at me. 

Those sort of things just creep me out.

 I was getting inpatient, and really wanted the whole process to be over as soon as possible. Well, as I was wondering what's their problem and why they are staring at me, I finally realized - I have a baby bump sticking out AND I'm wearing one of my nicer outfit (not the one in the picture). 

I see many pregnant women just trotting around in their PJs or pair of jeans and a hoodie. People are shockingly asking me how can I still be wearing heels, and most certainly complement me on my choice of clothes. 

I'm not saying that I don't like my most wonderful, soft and plush fleece PJs, but dressing well makes me feel like a woman. Not just a pregnant mother-to-be. It sort of lets me keep my identity as a person and not just someone who will be something in about three more months. 

I know that people have complications and most uncomfortable pregnancies ever, but I have been blessed with smooth sailing. And maybe in four weeks I will give up my heels too. 

But until then, it's stylish all the way.

All Good Things

top: TJMAxx (???), skirt: J.Crew, shoes: Aldo, bag: Kate Spade NY, coat: Tahari (old)

I know I have been complaining quiet a bit lately. Well, if you haven't noticed, I have. Even my hubby has and I think it's time to make some changes

So instead of talking about all the things that are wrong with this world, I'm going to focus on the many good things I have in life. 

Although the crankiness and hormones have been getting the best of me lately, I am looking forward to the day I'm going to become mother. To the day my life will change forever.

And the day I'm going to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes (which I do realize won't happen for a little bit longer postpartum). 

Have a great weekend and thank you for reading!

Fall Colors

top: Ann Taylor, skirt: Loft, blazer: Talbots, shoes: Aldo, necklace: Calvin Klein

I love the fall colors. The gorgeous tree colors and the warm sun. 

So why not take those colors into my closet? I have couple orange and bordeaux pieces that are going to regulars here... I love that I can layer pieces and come with so many different outfits, even being preggo having half of my closet not fit me anymore. 

One amazing thing about carrying the baby is constantly feeling that little one inside you. I guess being a dad is awesome too but I feel like women get to be a mom so much earlier. It's amazing how active this little boy is. And although I haven't met him yet, I love him so very much. It's wonderful feeling of connection. 

My hubby calls him 'our son' which makes him so real and present all the time. Now if we could just agree on a name, everything would be just perfect.